July 17, 2017

let it snow.

"i was having one of those days when you feel that life... likes you."

"i'm so glad you took the pickled fish, because i've been eating it. and i couldn't kiss you unless you'd had some too; which is both gross and breathtaking romantic."

"he liked being seen with me; therefore, i liked being seen with me, if that makes any sense."

"it was feeling just beyond fear and somewhere to the left of sadness. tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. it was dark and gloomy, and yet, it didn't seem that things would get any better if the lights were turned up."

"but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things."

"sometimes you just have to do stuff you aren't sure about."

"i could take charge of this day that had run away from me too many times."

"one person's crazy is another person's sane."

"but sometimes i need someone to shine a little light on me too."

"i never felt like anything was at a stake with her, because i always knew how it would end. she never seemed worth the risk."

"dark is sexy. ambivalent is sexy. deeper-than-it-looks-at-first-glance is sexy."

"you're good at that. at, like, saying crazy things in a way that makes me believe them."

"and i did not want to have a happy middle with her at the expense of an inevitably disastrous forever."

"once you think a thought, it is extremely difficult to unthink it."

"but she was underselling herself. she always undersold herself."

"as for me, i loved him so much it hurt. what tripped us up, i think, was the way we showed our love. we spoke different love languages."

"can't you just trust in our love, without asking me to prove it every single second?"

"hi, said my sadness. i'm ba-a-ack. did you miss me?"

"and wherever he was, i hoped his heart was warm."

"you've just got to take a good hard look at yourself, change what needs to be changed, and move on."

- this is the last john green book that took me the longest to read. i thought it was going to be disappointing since it was only co-written by john green and i got reviews from a friend that it was bad, i didn't want to read it until i thoroughly did and surprisingly i enjoyed it!

- having three love stories with different romantic situations; these kind of books are my favourite. helps to remind us that there are infinite possibilities of events that can happen to anyone in any setting. and i was super duper satisfied when the three couple encountered each other at the ending. it's as if the author heard my prayer saying "please let all of them meet each other! please!".

- out of the three short stories, i liked a cheertastic christmas miracle the best (john green's part of the book, not surprisingly cough). however i related more to the jubilee express and liked maureen johnson's way of writing more. my favourite character will have to be tobin, cause any guy written and created in a john green story is the best man any girl would go for.

- i wish schools are able to use this book as a teaching tool for literature, i know it doesn't look like the best but the fact that it has three different short stories and distinct characters. it would be a fun book for teens to read as well.

// i just done dorm-room shopping from ikea! should i do a dorm room haul for fun? i'm really excited from all the furniture i bought haha. so this is why beauty gurus are so extra.
// so the best miracle just happened to me today: i was at ikea looking for a rug but y'know how ikea rugs are hella expensive (why tho)? i found one that was on sale but it was out of stock so i guess that's that. just then! we had a problem regarding the plates i bought since they had no tag so we needed customer service. while i was running back in to look for more plates, my mum saw a women with the rug that we needed, but the thing is that it was out of stock, remember? just as my mum's number was called, that lady with the rug came to the same counter too (i think she was confused) but who knew this would become a lucky day for me. turns out the lady was returning the rug she bought so instead she sold it to my mum and i got both the plates and the rug! my mum can't stop saying how that rug was totally meant for me haha. end.

May 21, 2017


question: why are you being so uncomfortable?
answer: you're not being yourself

question: after being "yourself", how do you feel?
answer: i wonder why everything is still the same

question: is it that "being myself" was never good enough?
answer: ...

question: didn't your personality got you the friends you wanted?
answer: yes and i'm glad that they understand me but it may be a factor why we just stop there

question: maybe you haven't found that person that can let you be you?
answer: or maybe i was too hidden for people to want to show who i was.

question: maybe you're just overthinking this?
answer: maybe i am making this difficult on myself but if it didn't
go smoothly this many times there must be a problem somewhere but where?

i'm sick and tired of always asking if i was the problem
has it always been me that's wrong

become a mystery that people would want to know.

// 2017 juniper's review //

question: did you finally found the answer you needed?
answer: yes.

// it feels like a waste to delete something i used to felt on my blog which is the exact place where i'm able to throw my emotions around without having to care about what other people felt, it seems appropriate.
// turns out the past me couldn't grasp the basics of social communication and i'm glad i finally knew how to and accept myself for the type of person i am. sorry to everyone i grew cold to and having this realization late.
// it looks like i still had a "phase" at the age of eighteen.